We often think only about ourselves, I have often wondered why?
are we selfish?
are we insensitive?
have we lost moral values?
I think we would be too harsh on ourselves to think all the above, though we cannot rule out but it is not in totality, so why do we always think only about ourselves?
The main duty of the Self is to protect its self and the athma within,
so it has has several defense systems.
Defense systems are:
1. Physical act of defense - when somebody tries to hurt us we cry or defend or hit back
2. Defense by the Manam - emotional defense- hitting back emotionally
3. Defense by Buddhi - being egoistic - the mind tells us to defend because we are supreme, we need to be loved, we need to be cared etc.
It is essential for a very practical world, these are tools for survival but where we go wrong is the amount we need to exercise, this comes with practice and introspection.
It is a continuous learning process, we need to ask the questions and work on it continously . Here the few things you can do
1. Impartial assessment
2. Calm mind
3. Keeping away the emotions to one side.
How do you do it?
1. Meditation
2. Logical thinking
3. Talking to someone with whom you are close (discussion)
4. Prayers for clarity
5. Willingness to change
There is a difference between being compassionate and being empathetic to everyone around us and being naive and ignorant. What I am asking you to have is having consideration for others and not bull dozing your way not mindful of others.
for example - as a young couple you might want to work full time and extra hours and leave your children with the nanny or with old parents who are sick and ailing, that is being insensitive. why? because you are thinking of only your aspiration and not at the welfare of your child or the ailing parents.
so when you decide to go for work-
1. your children's welfare should be thought over;
2. your aged ailing parents should be consulted and thought over;
3. adequate steps need to be taken,
4. different options should be discussed, analyzed
start practicing this at home, you can extend this outside as well. you need empathy not sympathy to look at people.
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